I don't suffer very well.

Facing a pretty ambiguous and dismal future with no husband, no job, and only a slight savings, I feel like I was lured into a false sense of security. I was lead to believe that Jesus would be my provider, my protector, my rescuer. Not that I dont believe these things, but circumstance has challenged what I believe.

God has done big things in the past 4 years - gave me a home, community and stability. Now all of it is on the line - threatening to be ripped out from under me, like a helpless orphan with no where to go. I know that there are two potential reasons for my current suffering: 

1. to learn how to trust him

2. to use what i've learned to share it with others.

I've heard people speak of actually feeling the presence of God in their midst. I want that. I just need to know that He knows i'm alive, hurting and scared. And that He's going to do something about it.