Lies.

I've lost 100 pounds twice in my lifetime, and both times were an attempt to disprove lies that people spoke as truth into my life. However, at the time, I didn't realize that they were indeed lies. I think that if you're told something enough, you begin to believe it. So for me, the fact that I was overweight meant that I was unattractive and unlovable. If our value as humans is derived from our physical appearance, then I concluded that I must not have much value. Think about what you see on magazines, TV and billboards: those girls that are slender and pretty and therefore are (assuredly) being paid (monetary value). If you're not like these girls, then something must be wrong. These images are creating a false standard in our minds, and when we don't meet these standards, then we conclude that we either must meet them or die trying.

What if someone told me when I was 250 pounds that I was lovely and beautiful just the way I was? Furthermore, what if I actually believed that?! I wonder if it would have made me a joy to be around? I wonder if the freedom in being loved and accepted would have naturally allowed me to make healthier decisions?

My husband left me because of my weight. The rejection crushed me, and pushed me to the gym once again to disprove the lies I believed. Not only was I overweight, but I was a disheveled mess emotionally. Thankfully, Jesus met me in my mess to tell me that he loved me - the messy me. I didn't need to lose weight or wear makeup to be attractive to him; I already was. This was counter intuitive to the lies that I had once believed. Who was this Jesus that could or would love me when no one else did, not even my spouse?! He is the savior of the world, the only perfect being in all of history. The one who knew the sting of rejection so acutely that He knew exactly what I was going through. I wasn't alone.

Since my divorce, Jesus has steeped me in his love, grace, mercy and discipline. I know now that who I am is His daughter, and if He died for me, then He loves me. If that is true, then I conclude that I therefore have value and worth. Because of this, I naturally want to lead a healthier life. Running in the woods and shredding (or rather, trying to) down a snow covered mountainside is part of my life now, but not for any other reason than because I want to; because endorphin's put a smile on my face.

What lies are you believing today, and how are they shaping your view of yourself and the world?