Day 1 of unemployment seemed more like a day off. I drove to the unemployment office, only for me to realize that it was a holiday, and they were closed. So I went to the bar, and helped pack. I had lunch with the bff, went on an interview at the corner bistro, and went to the BT staff party.
I'm sure reality will settle in a bit this week when I'm not working doubles for the weekend. I think I need to listen to Jason's sermon again. When he preached it on Sunday, I felt like a huge blinking arrow was above me. Although, I was brought back to when I first was introduced to the gospel, and how refreshing it was. God is pushing me into a rough circumstance. As much as i dont like it, rejoice that he is doing something. Even though I dont know what it is.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I don't suffer very well.
Facing a pretty ambiguous and dismal future with no husband, no job, and only a slight savings, I feel like I was lured into a false sense of security. I was lead to believe that Jesus would be my provider, my protector, my rescuer. Not that I dont believe these things, but circumstance has challenged what I believe.
God has done big things in the past 4 years - gave me a home, community and stability. Now all of it is on the line - threatening to be ripped out from under me, like a helpless orphan with no where to go. I know that there are two potential reasons for my current suffering:
1. to learn how to trust him
2. to use what i've learned to share it with others.
I've heard people speak of actually feeling the presence of God in their midst. I want that. I just need to know that He knows i'm alive, hurting and scared. And that He's going to do something about it.
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